What’s the Weight of Your…?
Over coffee one day, a friend shared how puzzled she was when she started having flashes of memories of past hurts caused by her mother-in-law. Each time when a memory popped up, she will remind herself to “let it go and forgive”. In spite of the hurts, my friend has been a filial daughter-in-law and takes care of her in-laws very well.
After a few months, her mother-in-law passed on suddenly and unexpectedly.
“In many ways, I am glad I had the opportunity to let go and forgive my mother-in-law for the past hurts. When she passed on suddenly, I had no regrets and felt at peace.”
That coffee conversation stayed with me and made me wonder: what’s the burdensome weight of your
Such weights are a source of power and energy leakage in your life. Power loss or leakage can also result from:
When there is power loss or leakage, it makes you:
Losing your power is energy draining. Yet we often do it without realisation till we are made aware of it and decide to regain our power.
In Week 14 Sunshine Inbox, I shared about how grateful I am that I did not give up on life in spite of the storms. By dealing with limiting beliefs and toxic relationships in my thirties, it gave me a new lease of life and energy for my life.
Now in my fifties, I observed that a source of power leakage comes from my people pleasing tendency. I thought I had addressed it but it still seeps through at times.
That’s why I really like the following phrase that I saw in a book:
When you try to please everyone and deny yourself, your life force wanes.
In collectivist cultures, the emphasis is often on group harmony, duty, and interdependence. Sacrificing personal desires for the greater good whether for family, community, or workplace is generally seen as virtuous rather than draining. People might see that as just part of life. Putting others first can feel like duty, like love, like something honorable rather than exhausting. The flip side is that excessive self-sacrifice could lead to burnout and depletion of your energy.
In a more individualistic culture, the statement would likely hit differently. People grow up learning to chase their own dreams, set boundaries, and not let others define them. If you spend too much time pleasing people and ignoring your own needs, it can feel suffocating. It is like you’re giving away your identity. The flip side is that the focus can become self-absorbed.
The joy is that with greater awareness and intent, we can achieve a delicate balance between caring for self and caring for others. A continuous dance to harmonise self and others. Something that I am learning to do more each day.
What about you?
What source of leakage is currently draining you?
Let Go. Fly Free.
Reflection
Action
I invite you to create time this week and do this reflective exercise. Take a quiet moment and draw two columns:
- “What gives me energy and restores me”
- “Where my power leaks and what depletes me”
Jot down whatever comes; people, habits, thoughts, even roles you play. Nothing is too small. No judgment.
Circle one item under “Leak” that you want to gently address this week. Write down one loving action to shift it even slightly. It could be setting a boundary, journaling an old wound, saying “no” without guilt, or simply noticing a self-critical thought and softening it.
Practice for the Week
This week, practice one honest no. When you’re about to say “yes” out of habit (maybe to avoid conflict, to gain approval or to meet someone’s expectation) do a pause instead and say an honest, respectful “no”. It could be “I’d love to help, but I won’t be able to this time.” “Thanks for asking, I’ll have to pass.” Or “I’m choosing to rest this weekend.”
