Do We Bring Out the Beauty or Beast in Others?
This photo was taken when I was in the Kingdom of Bahrain.
I saw the beautiful blue sky reflected on the window and it prompted the following questions:
Do others see their own beauty when they come into contact with us?
Do we bring out the beauty or beast in others?
My fave hotel in Singapore is the W Hotel in Sentosa Cove.
Everywhere in the hotel, I am greeted with smiles and the team does their utmost best to accommodate my requests.
One day, one of their team members commented to me:
“Ms B, I have been working here for a while and you are the first guest to be so nice to us.”
All I did was to smile at them and do my best to remember their names. Whenever possible, I engaged them in conversations about their superpowers, dreams and aspirations.
It transpires that most guests do not acknowledge their presence or forget basic manners of “please and thank you”.
When the team members come into contact with me, they see their own beauty and strength. I brought out the beauty in them. Naturally, they reflected beauty back to me too.
Of course, there have been times in the past when I have brought out the beast in others.
With added resource and tools on managing my emotions and stress, I am pleased that it is easier for me to bring out the beauty than the beast in others.
Do you bring out the beauty or beast in others?
Reflection
Action
Think of a meeting that you attended where the lead person was frowning lots. What was the mood like in the room? Now think of a meeting that you attended where the lead person was smiling more. What was the mood like in the room?
Mirror neurons could be at play here.
Neuroscientist Giacomo Rizzolatti, MD, University of Parma, who first identified mirror neurons, says that the neurons could help explain how and why we “read” other people’s minds and feel empathy for them.
Take all these lines of evidence together, and it seems clear that mirror neurons are one key to understanding how human beings survive and thrive in a complex social world, says neuroscientist Vittorio Gallese, MD, PhD, one of Rizzolatti’s colleagues at the University of Parma. “This neural mechanism is involuntary and automatic,” he says — with it we don’t have to think about what other people are doing or feeling, we simply know.
Essentially mirror neurons respond to actions that we observe in others.
Test out mirror neurons by smiling more at others and see the reactions that you get.
Practice for the Week
One of the ways to manage our reactions to others is to have unconditional positive regards.
According to humanist psychologist Carl Rogers, “unconditional positive regard involves showing complete support and acceptance of a person no matter what that person says or does.” It is a technique used in his non-directive, client-centered therapy.
When we have unconditional positive regard for someone, it does not mean that we accept each and every action taken by the person. Instead, we continue to see them as inherently human and inherently lovable. And that he or she is doing the best they can at that given point in time. For example, when a member of your team did not complete a task as requested. Instead of assuming he or she was trying to skive, you hold off judgment and seek to clarify with them.
