A couple approached me for a couple session. Initially when the appointment was fixed, the objective was to work towards a better understanding of each other so that their relationship could be further enhanced. They had been experiencing challenges in their relationship.

Then a day before the appointment, things happened and the couple decided to move on their separate ways. However, they decided to continue with the session because they wanted to let go of any residual pain so that they could still remain friends.

I was touched by their desire to lovingly let go. And that they both lovingly supported each other in their healing journey ahead.

There’s recognition of mutual pain, acceptance of responsibility, lots of forgiveness, and a loving ability to bless the other party’s future path with no blame, anger or resentment.

For sure, there’s still healing to be done. But what is important is that as they continued their healing journey to move forward, there is no negative energy tied into the past.

Because they could both lovingly let go, the healing becomes easier and is filled with compassion rather than blame, anger, pain, resentment… all the negative emotions often associated with a breakup.

As one party commented, “If my love turned into hate right now because of the pain of betrayal, then it was not love to begin with.”

Instead, they consciously chose to focus on the positive aspects of moving forwards. The betrayed party extending forgiveness and practising compassion. The other party accepting responsibility for consequences of action and openly desiring to aid her partner to heal quicker. 

Unconditional love does not mean that you stay in an abusive, hurtful or damaging relationship. It does not mean accepting the behaviour of the other person because you love unconditionally.

In this couple’s case, their ability to maintain a compassionate heart meant that they avoided the usual drama that often follows a betrayal. Which would have anchored them to pain and the past.

Another client was filled with so much anger and bitterness when her spouse had an affair that she became distraught and nearly attacked him with a knife. Police report was made. That’s when she contacted me for a session. I shared with her about compassion as a powerful creator energy whereas holding onto the intense anger will only lead her to more drama. It was tough but she continued to work on herself by feeling compassion for herself, her situation and viewed her spouse with more compassion. Thankfully, she wasn’t charged and was able to move on with her life. I believed when she had compassionate energy in her heart, her attitude and speech became different. It eased off the situation and attracted a different outcome.

When James’ head of department stole his ideas and credit repeatedly, James realised that it was time for change. He knew that it was useless to confront his manager or be angry. Instead, he sent out feelers for new role. A connection in his network reached out to him and offered him a job because she admired his work ethos and expertise for a while. She knew that leader and empathised with James. Yet respected James for not badmouthing the leader. Only possible because James could release his anger and disappointment.

By doing their best to release their anger, hurt and disappointment, it allowed them to move on instead of being dragged into escalated drama.

Holding on to hurt and anger often becomes a barrier to creating new change or manifesting the miracle you want. Of course, when less ideal situations occurs, it is natural to feel the corresponding emotions. The key here is to do our utmost best to avoid being dragged into endless drama by our emotions.

Instead of focusing on possibilities, your energy will be sucked into your wounded past and remain there.

Compassion and forgiveness are the keys to opening the heart chakra, and thereby, the heart. While we may not necessarily feel these three emotional states while we are going through the pain, if we set these as the goals for ourselves in our healing journey, our heart will then be free to dream again.

The heart energy is a strong creator and manifesting energy.

By releasing emotions that are non-useful, we allow the energy to be transformed to a positive one.

I remember one such moment which happened 12 years ago. My mum and I had a terrible argument, and we were both in a heightened state of anger.

That night, I decided to transform the energy into a loving one between us. I decided to paint and gift the painting to her the next day.

I painted the flower with as much love and compassion as I could muster. The next morning, I visited her and presented her with the painting.

She must have felt the loving energy, look at her smile. Just like that, we became whole again. I titled the painting Called to Love.

By releasing my anger and frustration, I allowed the unfolding of a miracle. In this case, the healing of the rift between us quickly. Time would not have healed it as we would be holding onto the simmering frustrations, and it had the potential to worsen into more drama.

If you are looking to create change in a situation, test out softening your heart’s energy and observe what miracles unfold before you.

When we practice compassion, we give birth to miracles of
understanding and unity in the world.

– Thích Nhất Hạnh

Miracles are born where compassion dwells; it’s the language of the soul.

– Mother Teresa