Are You Ready to Believe in You?

Do you believe in yourself, your worth and value?

When he was a young man, my good friend Albert decided to open up a trading company.

During a meeting with friends and business acquaintances, one of his friends made a scathing remark in front of everyone:

“I give you six months and your business will fold up.”

He ignored the taunting remark and chose to listen to his heart.

“Today I am small, tomorrow I will be big.”

He believed in himself and his value.

He started his business and slowly, steadily, his trading business grew.

It got to a point where he started to buy whole batches of products from his supplier.

As a result, there came a time when the friend who taunted him could not get any supplies and had to get it from him instead.

Believe in yourself.

My friend reminded me.

Without this belief in yourself, you will be like a tall and abundant but hollow tree. When the wind blows, the tree comes crashing down because it has shallow roots.

He knew me well.

My external packaging was that of a confident, bubbly, cheerful person who was very good at what she did.

My internal packaging was full of hidden inner conflicts and self-doubts.

As such, I would lose sleep over a simple feedback or I would be upset if someone didn’t like me.

I would also waste effort to win someone over if I knew he or she did not like me. I hated to be disliked.

Isn’t it time you believe in yourself, your worth and value?

That conversation with him woke me up.

It spurred me to work on releasing the remnants of limiting beliefs I had about myself.

Albert is no longer with us.

But his words are a legacy that I treasure.

And in turn, I like to share this treasure with you.

Believing In You

Reflection

When someone compliment you on a job done well or a strength that you have, what is your usual reaction?
Do you deflect it? If yes, why?
Do you accept it or have internal disbelief about what was said? Why?

Action

What does Sheryl Sandberg, Serena Williams, David Bowie, Albert Einstein and Michelle Obama have in common?

They have all experienced Imposter Syndrome at times. This is when you have a persistent feeling of self-doubt and the belief that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be, you often attribute your success to luck or external factors rather than your own abilities and accomplishments.

Sheryl Sandberg has admitted to feeling like an imposter at times, even during her time at Harvard.
Serena Williams has spoken about feeling like she was always copying her older sister Venus.
Albert Einstein once said, “The exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler”.
Michelle Obama has also mentioned experiencing imposter syndrome, saying, “It doesn’t go away, that feeling that you shouldn’t take me that seriously. What do I know?”.
David Bowie shared that he had enormous self-image problems and low self-esteem, which he hid behind obsessive writing and performing.

If you too have experienced Imposter Syndrome, know that you are not alone. It is also a topic often discussed by professionals like you on Linkedin.

Many high-achieving individuals including me have experienced persistent self-doubt and fear of being exposed as frauds, despite our successes.

It is a terrible feeling to have and certainly needs to be addressed for us to enjoy our successes and be happy too.

So for this week’s Action segment, I invite you to:

Reflect on this question: Do you often feel like an imposter?
If no, dance or give yourself a big pat on your back. Skip to Practice segment.
If yes, breathe and then acknowledge your feelings. Thank your feelings for making itself known so that you can address them.
Dance or give yourself a big pat on the back and say: “it is normal to feel this every now and then. Lots of people do. I just need to let the feelings surface and float away each time.”
Take a piece of paper or on your phone, list down 5 recent achievements. Look at each one and give yourself credit. Perhaps gift yourself a treat to celebrate.
The next time, when self-doubts appear and you catch yourself thinking negatively about your abilities, learn to challenge them. Remember the milestones that you have achieved.
If such feelings continue to persist, you may wish to seek professional support to release them.

Practice for the Week

Eat lightly and consume fresh water and food with strong life force.